Yesterday, it was my mama’s birthday it is supposedly a happy day but for me it turns out into a disaster. My boyfriend and I had a great talk over skype, until I decided to ask he’s Facebook account. For once it seems that he wouldn’t want to give it to me, and then I told him I would want to give my Facebook account too.
Take note, my boyfriend for me I think is the most jealous kind of man I’ve ever known. He seems like he own my life. He tried to manipulate me, the way I dress what to dress or what’s not. He would even manipulate me what places to go and where’s not. For seven years he had been like that to me. But I managed to accept it because of the love I felt to him. I am a very proud girlfriend, his name is mostly the one came out to my mouth every time we had a bonding with my friends. He keeps on telling me to wait for him since he’s a sailor boy. He told me that there is only three months to go and he will be home. Whenever I think of it I can’t help myself to giggle because of the excitement I felt.
But all of those fantasies had shattered, when I opened his Facebook account and read the messages and sent messages he had. God help! It feels like my world is vanished. I don’t know, I didn’t feel my heart beating. He still exchanging messages with his ex-girlfriend and the messages are all sweet like they were together again. God that time I felt like melting, I couldn’t describe what I feel it’s just so painful that I felt like I’m numbing. How can he do this to me? That’s what first strikes on my mind. For seven years he lied to me and it really hurts like its killing me. All my dreams about him suddenly shattered. It’s no easy to move on, but I know I can make it.
There are sayings that “once the glass is broken it would never be fixed and if it could be it would never be the same again” which I really agreed with, just like TRUST. Though we haven’t had any closures or we haven’t talk yet about what I discovered, it makes me feel scared of him, scared of trusting every word that would come out to his mouth. I don’t know if our relationship will still worked out, but one thing for sure someday if we wouldn’t be together anymore I could find the right man for me. Someone who would genuinely make me feel that I am special someone who would be proud, honest and adore me for the rest of my life. Someday I will find him and I would be happy as what I wanted for my life.